Friends and Family

Michael and Norman came to pick me up this morning so we could have breakfast before they left for New Hampshire. We went to our usual place, Antique Row Café, and then went to the airport. As I was driving away in their car, I started to think of how much they both mean to me. It lead me to think of friends and family. Gay men often create their own family over time as they go through life and meet people. The blood ties are not always as thick as we hope and many of us who have lost contact with our parents and/or siblings, look elsewhere for that bond.

I realize that I have been really lucky. Although we are far from one another, I'm really close to my immediate family. It was not easy for me, as for most gays and lesbians, to come out but once I did, I wondered how people who cared about me could suddenly not love me just because of what for me is such an insignificant difference. Being the first kid of the family I had thought they might think I was going down the “wrong path” and was a bad example. I come from a macho society and homosexuality is not a thing that we were exposed to growing up and it certainly was never talked about. My mom is very religious and I thought she would have the hardest time coming to terms with my homosexuality. I guess she understood the "Book" the way it was supposed to and Love prevailed above all. My sister and I have always been close. I know she looked up to me and I did not want to “disappoint” her. I adore my baby brother and to think that he would not talk to me one day is unbearable. My relationship with my other brother is actually the one that has changed for the better. Growing up we were never that close. We liked different things and although we’re only one year apart we never had that much in common. As we got older we got closer. Older and wiser maybe? To me having a close relationship with someone is not necessarily talk on the phone everyday or live on the same block. My phone bill would be horrendous (well even more than it is) and we all live in different parts of the world. But still the bond is there, maybe even getting stronger as time goes by.

Throughout the years and the different places I've lived in, I have made some wonderful friendships and my "family" kept on growing. Some of those friends live far away but when we see each other we just pick up where we had left off. I have been blessed with a lot of wonderful people in my life who have had and continue to have an indelible impact on me. I sometimes think that I don't give a fair chance to everyone that I meet and might miss on a great relationship but I usually go with my gut feeling. Why do we like certain people and not others? Why do we feel a connection with some when others leaves us indifferent? Who's to say. I guess it has to do with where both parties are in their own life and skin when they meet. I can only be thankful for the people who are always there for me whether to share silly laughs or lend me a shoulder to cry on.

Someone said "to have a friend, you have to be one". I only hope that I am a good one.